Genies Swipe Left. Not even if I draw you like one of my French girls? Is it bad I’m constantly craving either cupcakes or donuts? You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth! “Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.” I once sneezed a beanie weenie through my nose. Coincidence? I’ve always thought being popular on Instagram is as about as useless as being rich in monopoly. Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. I hope you find your Jack. Showing search results for "Funny Self Descriptions" sorted by relevance. Awww it's sweet that he brings his mom though! I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties. Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R. Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me. I can quote (Insert movie) better than you and all your friends. I’m here to bring you brand new 2015 Instagram bios to keep you up to speed on the very newest and best bios out there. Create something that is unique to you and only you. Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get. You know your in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. Only Swag girls are fascinated by hashtags on the Facebook. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair. Appamatix focuses primarily on “how to” style articles and new tips to make sure you’re making the most out of your apps. I think not. but I would say those are basically technological descriptions, and this next shift is not about technology - although obviously it will be influenced and in some cases expressed by technologies. Creating your own bio can be daunting but below are some tips to get you going. We’re a third of the way through a brand spankin’ new year, and the same practices and tricks we’ve featured previously are still going strong; however, they’re now strapped with a more contemporary sense of humor! always lay out your achievements, I would be surprised if there was someone who hadn't gone to jail while playing monopoly, This guys promises to get the ladies wet - just not in they way they want him to, The whole family is ready to meet you - all you have to do is swipe, It looks like he already found someone he holds deer, She's just an old soul who likes to jam out, Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays! I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica. Who can resist such notable accomplishments? Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Insert pretentious stuff about myself here. Also, I am excellent at parallel parking. If you destroy trees on our date, we won't be having a second one, 01000001 01110111 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100001, Just come Jelly looking for his Peanut Butter - preferably not related to him. And of course, it perfectly describes you! Hands down the best tinder profile picture, We all know someone who with that hard to pronounce name - this girl came up with a technique, This guy is rolling with life punches - find the silver linings in life with humor, Sometimes the Pros outweigh the Cons - you decide, Check out this girl's Yelp ratings - how many more recommendations do you need. 25 Funny Pictures With Captions - Utterly Hilarious! it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically. Try to incorporate something funny into your bio to make people laugh, they are much more likely to remember it if they laugh while reading the description. That wraps up our guide on the best Instagram bios around the world. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, It's funny how good memories can make you cry, Eating a whole apple core because you can’t be bothered going to the bin, admit it, you’ve done it. Anyone knows my Instagram username not making a new account again. I have not failed, my success is just postponed for some time. My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart, My relationship status? Please use high-res photos without watermarks. 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