The effect is that real and equitable feelings are sacrificed, Gilligan and Snider say, in one of their broadest statements, in favour of “an order contingent on dividing people into the superior and the inferior, the touchables and the untouchables, whether on the basis of race, gender, class, caste, religion, sexuality, you name it”. In the Game of Thrones-style medieval era, it was embodied in the droit de seigneur, (”the lord’s right”). But we gave that all up for “love”. There is a short video that you can watch on YouTube – if you can steel yourself – the “still-face experiment” conceived and conducted by psychologist Edward Tronick, a professor of child development at Harvard. Sexism is prejudice and discrimination; misogyny is that plus animus (Kate Manne calls misogyny the “law enforcement branch of patriarchy”). argues that we have given up real relationships in order to have pseudo-relationships. Having forgotten about the lives they have lost, they are willing to go along with the new, alternate life. Beset by the apprehension of love being withdrawn, we keep our anxieties at bay by building walls around us. Since, one way or another, patriarchy has been called out, denounced and ridiculed so many times, from Charles Fourier (who invented the term “feminism”) and Mary Wollstonecraft (A Vindication of the Rights of Women) to Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex and beyond, how comes it’s still with us? In other words, patriarchy is not biologically determined or genetically encoded. Finally, the psychologist snaps his fingers again and the two minute vow of silence comes to an end. It is in this initiation, mimicking Bowlby’s description of detachment, that teenage boys’ interests transition from friendships to the accumulation of material objects to shore up their security and social value. These accounts juxtapose with the theoretical discourse of Gilligan and Snider and further justify their arguments. Like all ideologies, it seeks to make sense of reality, but is not itself reality. And it struck me. The unconscious pressure to oblige these patriarchal gender norms eventually destructs the emotional health of both sexes. Gender, like people, cannot be reduced to simple binaries (indeed, even Jewish scripture recognizes at least six different genders). [If you’re interested, Rob Okun’s Voice Male is a great place to start.] In the nearly 50 years since Morgan wrote that (in 1970), the dominant discourse in feminism really hasn’t made much progress in answering that implicit question. Why Does Patriarchy Persist? Why Does Patriarchy Persist?

Patriarchy is the result. Oh no they didn’t, say Gilligan and Snider. Margaret Heffernan reminds us: “As long as it remains invisible, it is guaranteed to remain insoluble.”. That is the question I will explore over the next few posts. Sign up for our weekly newsletter to receive selections from each week’s issue of. Are you sure you want to mark this comment as inappropriate? The objects are reliable, says Snider, where relationships are not. By requiring us to sacrifice love for the sake of hierarchy, patriarchy protects us from the vulnerability of loving and becomes a defense against loss. So let’s try to make it visible: let’s talk definitions. It allows our most engaged readers to debate the big issues, share their own experiences, discuss real-world solutions, and more. A word on style: Snider and Gilligan generously carry the reader through the process of discovery, from the origins of the book in Snider’s engagement with Gilligan’s work while pursuing a master’s in law at NYU, to their personal reflections as they engaged in creative dialogue with one another, to their delight in each “surprise” they encounter in the process. Like Tyrion in this clip from Game of Thrones (disclosure: I’m with Varys on this one, albeit not with his overweening faith in one hero—or heroine—to save us all). We will return to hooks’ point about men and women “supporting” patriarchy in a future post, since on its face it also seems counterintuitive (it’s one thing to suggest that men suffer under patriarchy, but quite another to suggest that women actively support it). I want to use this newsletter to explore the puzzling durability of a system that has now characterized human relations for 8,000-10,000 years. To consider just one minor example, didn’t America recently elect a guy who behaves like a cartoon caricature with women, just grabbing them by the hair or any other part of the anatomy and having his way with them, even if he has to pay them off later to shut them up? – all assurances to the contrary) must be: I honestly don’t know. Of men over women, of masculine over feminine, of strong over weak.

Please be respectful when making a comment and adhere to our Community Guidelines. the wake of the 2016 US Presidential election, renowned feminist thinker Carol Gilligan co-authored Why Does Patriarchy Persist? There are strands within the tremendous diversity of feminisms that challenge the dominant discourse and in my view offer a path forward. However, resistance to loss can, in certain circumstances, give rise to behavior that cuts us off from the promise of future connection. Our journalists will try to respond by joining the threads when they can to create a true meeting of independent Premium. He and Dido – Queen of Carthage – fall in love. Donna Pendergast and Sue L.T. I understood—before I had words or concepts to express it—that American gender norms were oppressive. But it follows the first point above: patriarchy is a system (it is not about individuals) that begets sexism and misogyny, just as white supremacy is a system that begets racism and xenophobia. Roy Herndon Smith This post is the fourth in a series of discussions of Why Does Patriarchy Persist?, by Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider (Polity Press 2018). I remember my excitement—and subsequent disappointment— when I first encountered the Combahee River Collective Statement. The persistence of patriarchy is contingent on the move from protest to despair and detachment. Pascal said that all human misfortune stems from our inability to remain at rest in a room. It is a tragic tale, but one that ends with hope. In their new book, “Why Does Patriarchy Persist,” Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider explore the psychology that keeps men in positions of power. Back in the day, a young man could marry a young woman, just as they do now. Gilligan and Snider’s work continues a dialogue with questions I posed last year on a panel discussion about what work we each have to do in dismantling silencing, gendered forces that steal from us the opportunity for real relationships, real change. Her other books include The Birth of Pleasure, Kyra: A Novel, Joining the Resistance, and most recently, Darkness Now Visible (with David Richards) and Why Does Patriarchy Persist?

What is it about patriarchy that seems to make it so resilient and resistant to change?

Speaking of loss is an intimate act. Being vulnerable with our hearts, being open about our misdeeds and harms, trusting enough to voice our needs and wounds — I can think of nothing more intimate and nothing more constructive, hence my suggestion that this work is something of a book-length speech act.

Why Does Patriarchy Persist? (part II available here), How can we dismantle it (and replace it with something more conducive to human thriving)? A man regrets giving up a valuable friendship with a gay classmate out of distress of being viewed as effeminate. Having detached themselves from facing their honest emotions, some men and women may even unknowingly become the perpetrator of loss and accomplice of patriarchy through continued violence or silence. Inviting the reader to reflect on the sacrifices of voice and truth that patriarchy demands, Gilligan and Snider remind us of our power and right to determine the course of our lives, the quality of our relationships, and our sense of integrity. To conform to these expectations of physical and emotional behavior, both genders are expected to mask their genuine feelings. But most of the discourse I encountered as I developed a political consciousness in adolescence and college spoke about the female experience of gender oppression. The whole thing is a tour de force, but let’s start with this bold statement: Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social disease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation. What is it about patriarchy that seems to make it so resilient and resistant to change? Citing Freudian and Kleinian thought and borrowing from the pioneering work of developmental psychologist John Bowlby, the authors argue that patriarchy functions as a defense mechanism against loss. It’s taken me several years just to get this far, and I feel like each new day I find some new insight that continues to shape my thinking (as indeed I have just in writing this post).

Gilligan and Snider offer an original and insightful perspective on the perpetuation of patriarchy in their honest, vulnerable dialogue. with Naomi Snider, a Research Fellow at NYU School of Law. I will speak primarily of men/male/masculine and women/female/feminine in these posts because that is the rigid patriarchy we all grew up in. Patriarchy forces men to deny their need and capacity for relationships and connection, and forces women to deny their need and capacity for a strong sense of self and autonomy. They then set about distinguishing between our emotional needs and our performed roles, detailing how our affective bodies speak beyond our consciously-held identities. The mother responds, normal service resumes. So I want to offer in these posts two things: a synthesis of the best thinking I’ve encountered on a complex subject (often from queer women of color), as interpreted through the lens of someone who moves through the world holding the opposite identities. We got into it, so we can get out of it.

There is no standard definition. The book proceeds with a series of anecdotes that bring to life a central premise: due to social pressures to conform to heteronormative gender role expectations, we sacrifice real relationships and silence ourselves. The surprising conclusion follows that all those stupid macho types who think they are god’s gift, including the caveman with the club, are actually sensitive souls, verging on neurotic, who can’t cope with real, personal relationships and the harsh reality of emotional give-and-take. So it’s not surprising that this line of inquiry can seem counterintuitive at first blush. With Gilligan and Snider in frank dialogue, together they engender in the reader a sense of responsibility to speak from a place of personal truth and vulnerability, and they make possible the belief, however faint and flickering in dark times, that greater honesty, equality, and peace are possible. The flow will be roughly: What is patriarchy, and why is it important that we understand it? We are being fed a relationship-heavy diet. In turn, we are impelled to respond. The existing Open Comments threads will continue to exist for those who do not subscribe to Independent Premium. Both genders bury their genuine feelings in exchange of superficial relationships and general acceptance in a patriarchal society, in the process forfeiting the opportunity to build real connections of honesty and vulnerability.

From a historical origin standpoint: patriarchy as a system is roughly 8,000-10,000 years old (and evidence is persuasive that it was patriarchy that led to imperialist/conquest cultures and its more modern incarnations in colonialism; Miki Kashtan does an exceptional job synthesizing various data points on this). Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider’s new book, Why Does Patriarchy Persist?,  does more than that.

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